Welcome to Episode 77 of my podcast, The Executive Edge, with Julie Holunga who talks about helping leaders take command of their careers. She does this through her speaking and coaching, encouraging us to understand how to lead with influence and authority.
Julie feels the crux of this is threefold and it starts with effectively handling conflict which we often avoid. We may not like it fearing the results or outcome of getting it wrong. The language we use in conversations can also undermine our ability to influence others.
Yet, both at home and in the office, we are spending so much time trying to influence other people so using ‘weak’ language prevents us succeeding. She recognises how we talk about ourselves matters too. If we put ourselves down, however unwittingly, or be too humble, this can often mean we achieve far different results than we intend.
How do we use language to achieve our ability to influence?
Julie feels tone helps a lot, reading the room too, which can help. Asking yourself “what is required here?” helps you work out when to slow your pace, pause, ask more questions, or get more direct. This is not a skill we’re taught in school so asking for feedback from our audience – a person you trust – can help guide us. This helps build trust with people too which often makes our ability to lead, easier. It communicates strength.
Over-apologising isn’t a good idea either. Neither is personalising everything that happens and finding fault with ourselves, even inside our own heads. Julie does a great job of offering tips and tools to help us understand how to utilise these much-needed skills.