By | Published On: May 18, 2011 |

Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash

A client of mine has a difficult and painful decision to struggle with at the moment: whether to end her relationship with someone after a long time of being together. A book I’ve read in the past that made a massive difference to me was by Mira Kirshenbaum called ‘Too good to leave, too bad to stay”. Based on the premise that a relationship can only be one or the other, Mira asks a series of questions that help you explore what you are feeling and what to do about it.

She has a practical style and although you’ll find some of the questions obvious such as issues of abandonment, adultery or physical abuse, she also asks some pragmatic questions that help you get to grips with how much you might be tolerating a situation that doesn’t suit you, and how your own symptoms of stress are emerging over time.

Headaches, persistent fatigue and depression are less obvious than carping criticism or the silent treatment when you’ve argued for example. It’s an essential guide and one I urge you to purchase should you ever be faced with this dilemma. In my client’s situation she has already made her decision: listening to your inner voice as it attempts to guide you to what’s best takes huge courage, but eventually the warning bell clangs so loud it’s impossible to ignore. When that happens, the tipping point has been reached and curiously it’s easier to act for the best.

Good luck and let me know if I can help… mail me at