Welcome to Episode 75 of my podcast, The Executive Edge, with Daniel Tolson .
Daniel is an expert in understanding how we get ‘stuck’; repeated loss, disappointment, and many traumas of his own put him in the unique position of understanding this. In a video put out on the 4th April om Facebook he explains how he went through so much in his life and so did his wife, that negative thinking and the belief that life was rubbish, was inevitable. But these circumstances weren’t of his own making. Much of the time what happens to us isn’t something we plan for. But over time we start to think it is. That we have caused this or more typically “nothing good ever happens to me”. This becomes entrenched and it’s that negative start to the day that can set each of us on a repeated path where it is all too easy to persistently expect life to be tough.
So, is it possible that the way we think can influence how well we do in life? To some degree Daniel’s experiences taught him that in many circumstances whilst we can’t influence whether something happens, we can influence how we respond. In my podcast interview with him this is what we concentrated on. As a Psychologist I knew this too. Thoughts that begin to view a situation in a particular way, rapidly become your beliefs and over time these influence what you expect and how you behave.
Daniel explains how emotional intelligence reframes experiences, or put another way, alters them in our mind. He concentrates on how the regulation of your own mood and emotions secures a good start to the day. This ‘self-regulation’ is also how you moderate your feelings to situations, both current and past. Next is how you ‘read’ other people and respond to them and so on. He covers 5 main areas of EI and helps explain what we need to do
You may want to check out some of his links and in particular, he has a new eBook out which he is currently promoting on Facebook. It’s called ‘Change, Conflict & Crisis – 7 wonderful ways to become a leader in times of rapid change’. You can get your free copy here:
Subscribe to the podcast wherever you get your podcasts to hear more of my interview with Daniel and get access to previous episodes of the show.