This week Deborah Turner joins me to discuss the secret of promoting yourself. Deborah and I first met when I was a speaker at one of her Breakthrough Women events last year. She has a strong drive to encourage women to make sure they’re ‘visible’ as many make the mistake of shrinking back and being less willing to share their success.
What does she think?
Deborah believes it’s perfectly possible to work well but if you don’t ‘shout’ about it then you can miss out on opportunities. Not being ‘seen’ means you’re not front of mind when that promotion comes along. Some women are aspiring to be something else but may not get exposed to successful women whom they can model themselves on. One of the issues this raises is something called ‘Tiara syndrome’ where women do their best but imagine that because of that, someone will one day come along and place a ‘tiara’ on them. In other words, promote them, yet the reality is they often get overlooked because ‘waiting’ isn’t a success strategy. Being vocal or able to promote yourself is better, Deborah believes.
I recognise this too
For me being a Psychologist has been right for me. I don’t find my work hard to do and I’m lucky enough to be opposite people who can give me feedback quickly which in its own way enables my success. My advice or input is being received by one person at once and if they’re happy with it, they promote me because they talk about me. Whereas doing the wrong job in life or hoping for the best, isn’t a good thing for anyone and tends to result in a slower progression in life.
Why do we struggle with this?
One of the reasons we don’t shout about ourselves, is the error of believing this is arrogant. It isn’t arrogant to feel positive and to take an opportunity to say, ‘that was done by me’, or to have a good idea and say ‘have you thought of ?’. Not being yourself isn’t good and risks disengaging from the company you work for. People engage when we are ourselves and we enjoy work so much more.
It’s a process and it’s about small steps
Being comfortable with yourself and being seen is a process. Taking small steps is the way to do it not a big leap or being vocal. It can start with self-talk because how you talk to yourself, or about yourself to others, can make a big difference.
Making a conscious shift to stop doing this negatively, is useful because you pull yourself up so that it becomes a habit. Learning to do this takes time and effort but pays off.
Deborah also talks about practical tips for how to promote yourself, including getting comfortable with your core values, and strengths. She practices this and puts it on her mirror and places she sees every day.