Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
This week I also saw a client who spent several hours with me. When people come to see me they do so for a variety of reasons, but the common theme is that they have got to the stage where they don’t want to feel like ‘this’ anymore. Often the feeling they want rid of is a dull ache, what Churchill called ‘Black Dog’ days which can plague many of us and are manageable as long as they are ‘felt’ to be so or only trouble us rarely. All of us get moody or unhappy from time to time but it’s when these feelings pervade your daily routine that it becomes time to act.
Going to see a Psychologist may sound daunting, but actually it isn’t a difficult process once you’ve made up your mind to seek advice. We seek help if we need our business fixing, so it makes logical sense to do the same when your personal life needs a fix.
My process is simple – people are very vulnerable as youngsters and learn from the behaviour they model or are told to do. Not all of this behaviour is healthy for them especially if it’s a thought or attitude to themselves. They can end up behaving almost completely how their parents behaved when given the choice they would examine this and let some actions and responses go. As rational adults they’re encouraged to work out which is which; what they want to keep and what they don’t and to have the strength of mind to let some outdated and painful memories, experiences and behaviour go. It really is liberating when you feel free from the anchor of the past or of the approval of other people particularly parents who often do not know what they’ve done and cannot change it for you. I use a metaphor to illustrate this by handing someone 6kg in weights. It’s heavy & would be tiring to carry for long; they feel better when they give it back to me and that’s what it feels like to be free of the burden of critical self-talk or feeling down – it really is like a weight has been lifted.
Any comments, I’d love to hear them.